Digging into the archives

Our kid's cleaning the basement, and she found a notebook from my confusion days of 1999 when I was working with a career coach to try to figure out what I wanted to do with my life.
I'd quit my nice job at MSU to work at home 5 years earlier. Had a two-year-old who was a fearless painter (and hair-cutter). I was doing screen printing art and knew vaguely that it wasn't going to last. Design work was dwindling as desktop publishing became ubiquitous.
Hence the career coach.
It's funny to me how close my current life comes to what I was wishing for -- and couldn't put my finger on -- back then.
The following angsty words are from the 1999 notebook, and I'll put an x in front of those in the list that are true of my career today, 12 years later (that's most of them).
------------------
I want to do fast sketchy art and some writing. Travel. Sketch journal. Publish/create books that matter.
I will somehow, someday, build a studio that works.
I think I know what I want to do (comic strip) but it has taken a year of self-discovery to get here. I need a backup in case the comic fails. Storyboarding?? Research it.
I still have not put all my best abilities/wants/values/etc. together for one career. I want the comic -- but might there be something better out there?
Most potent areas of interest and passion:
x sketchy art
x that makes a difference in the world
   earn $70,000 within 5 years
x art I can do at home
x seen by many
x pen and ink, some color
x some freedom, able to choose own subjects
x editor help/bounce ideas off
x some writing/editing
x fun/funny
x some poetry
x Shel Silverstein-like
x occasional presentations to groups and kids
x travel
   well-known in my area (hmm. Tough to judge. I'm getting there...)
x intelligent art -- witty
x loving art
x peaceful art
x poke fun at people who have power but shouldn't
x creative, lively
x freedom in schedule
x art I can do on the road sometimes
x art I can do ahead and stockpile (to accommodate travel)
x clear deadlines
x No or only occasional freelance stuff
   licensing or merchandising
x learn more
x improve my art
   become a modern day master
x have anonymity when I need it
x able to do my art by myself
x compatible with all lifestyles
x compatible with kids of all ages
x pays well from the start
If I could do ANYTHING, what would it be?
Interests:
drawing/sketching, humor, writing, music, sewing, travel, history, costumes, kids, teaching, harmonica, humor, making presentations, debating, poetry, satire, tennis, skating, pets, family, publishing, book layout-design-typography, brainstorming, protecting kids, creativity, resourcefulness, organizing, library, parks, maps, event planning, being alone, being with people, don't help sell things that hurt, family parties, road trips, sketch journals, acting, chat host, html/websites, computer hardware/tech, embryology.
------------
That was 1999.
In 2002 I entered the Simon & Schuster Margaret K. McElderry Picturebook Contest. I didn't win, but loved it so much I suddenly had a new career in children's books. My first book sold in 2005, to Bloomsbury. That's Ellie McDoodle, and I don't think it's possible to be happier with where I am in 2011.

.

March is Reading Month

In Michigan and other states in the Midwest (and elsewhere?), March is Reading Month. That means most authors I know are hitting the road, taking their presentation to schools and conferences far and wide.

So far this season (Feb-March) Charlie and I have presented at:

Averill Elementary in Lansing

Chelsea Library for a cartooning workshop (through Jerzy Drozd - went fantastic)

See the highlights video here!

Winn Elementary in Winn near Shepherd

Elmhurst Elementary in Lansing

Attwood Elementary in Lansing -- my kids' old school, and how very cool to revisit

Shepherd Elementary

Borland Elementary in Imlay City

Kurtz Elementary in Milford

Smith Road Elementary in Temperance

Country Oaks Elementary in Commerce Township

Sodt Elementary in Monroe

Michigan Reading Association Conference

Grand Rapids, One Book, One City:

Ken-O-Sha School

Harrison Park School

Pooh's Corner bookstore

Grand Rapids Public Library

North Park School

Buchanan Elementary.

Coming up soon:

Kingsley Elementary in Traverse City

Gardens Elementary in Marysville

Garfield Elementary in Port Huron

Crull Elementary in Port Huron

Fair Haven Elementary in Fair Haven

Blue Water Reading Association Conference

Millside Elementary in Algonac

Algonac Elementary in Algonac

Blue Water Young Readers Conference

Our Lady of Victory in Northville

Dibble Elementary in Jackson

Frost Elementary in Jackson

Wainwright Elementary in Lansing

Clare Primary School in Clare

Cromaine Library in Hartland

and

Houston SCBWI Conference.

That sounds like a lot, to me!

I have a new presentation with a story-creation workshop that is getting rave reviews from kids and teachers. It all started in Sparta, last November. Standing in front of a group of three year olds I suddenly realized they could barely hold pencils and thus would not benefit from the normal Pre-K program I did (using letterforms to make doodles).

So we improvised, on the spot.

The program was such a big success with the littlest kids that we tried it with the older kids. Again, great fun. We used it for all of the sessions that day, and again at the next Sparta school (we visited Appleview and Ridgeview), and at the Holt schools (Wilcox and Midway) and in three Indianapolis schools (New Augusta South Elementary, Eagle Creek and Fishback Creek Elementary).

By December we knew exactly what would make a great program for the spring author visit season.

Thank you to the schools, libraries and bookstores who hosted us (and who are bringing us in still).

Mr. Barshaw (the timekeeper and presenter of votes) and I have had a really great time getting to know students, librarians, teachers, media specialists, principals, support staff, families and bookstore people.

And thank you to our fellow writers, to teachers and librarians and booksellers and PTA/O members who have referred us to other schools for events.

More to come -- and pictures! But right now I have an art deadline to meet.

PS -- Want to schedule me for a school visit? There's still time! Not in March, but in spring. :) Visit my website: http://ruthexpress.com

Back from outer space (that's revisions)

After spending many months with the next Ellie McDoodle book I can proudly say that I am done living in a fantasy world and am back to real life for a while. (until my editor's revisions notes arrive... then it's back to not-really-here-ness again).

The next book's about soccer. I learned a LOT about soccer while writing it. (Ellie learns how to properly kick the ball, for one thing)

I learned a lot about life, too -- like, for instance, email still comes even when I am not at the computer to answer it. (1347 in the in-box, right now. I'm starting to think I might not answer them all)

Here's a page from my rough art/rough writing for the book:

This picture has nothing to do with soccer but everything to do with teamwork. And there's a reason for the crazy hairstyles.

I hope this art will make it into the book. You and I will have to wait til next Spring to know for sure. :)

My life is a clown car

My life lately is a clown car: Distracting, too much crammed into an impossibly small space, entertaining but likely to crash and burn if someone isn't steering carefully.

A competition held by SCBWI (http://scbwi.org) ends this week and I desperately wanted to enter. The prize is hugely enticing. The judge is Tomie dePaola!!! The challenge: Draw the opening scene from HEIDI, a book written in 1872, subsequently replotted into films that etched their directors' visions on my brain. How to update Heidi and make her fun for today's kids?
To really do well I had to start weeks ago -- which I did.
Amid all my crazy deadlines and events in November, I sketched out a few ideas.
Nothing seemed original and fun to me. I did some research. Sketched out a few more ideas.

One of my illustrator friends set the bar *very* high with her entry. I didn't have a shot at the prize, so why bother with an entry? Especially with my clown car life crammed with a zillion deadlines.
It haunted me, though. I finished all the other deadlines (except the Ellie book 4 -- that's more long-term) and yesterday at 7 pm as Charlie and I sat in the warmth of a writers' cafe, getting ready for the drive home, I said to him I wanted to try to enter the contest. Even though it ended at midnight. And the drive home was an hour. And I only had parts of ideas that I liked.

Since I didn't have the supplies necessary to create the art at the cafe, we got into the car and headed home. On the way I was smacked by a flash of an idea.
Charlie turned on the interior ceiling light so I could sketch.I protested -- the bright light was very distracting to drivers, not to mention to Charlie!
But he insisted.
And, amazingly, the sketches turned out pretty well. I'm used to sketching in the car -- I do it on almost every school visit trip we take.
The ride was smoother than it's been, because we splurged on new tires a couple weeks ago (one tire had been egg-shaped; you can imagine the bumpety drawings that produced).
I sketched a few versions of my brain flash -- I was excited because it seemed original and fun (my two rules for bothering to enter).
The only question: Could I possibly get it colored and sent to the contest in time? In fact, might the contest have ended at midnight *yesterday*? My brain is good at playing tricks on me.

We arrived home. I gathered up my piles of papers and books, and raced to my studio. Pulled up the contest website. I still had time! Three hours and 40 minutes!
I scanned in the art and tweaked it. Added the lettering. Tweak, tweak, tweak. Color.
The phone rang. It was my mom. Charlie handed me the phone! Nooo!!! I have to work!!! Balancing the phone on one shoulder, talking to Mom, I colored the art. More tweaks. Scanned the final art into the computer -- Oh, no!!! It's garish!! The subtle art turned garish in my evil scanner! Tweaked it some more. Kept reducing the file size until it fit the contest guidelines, and emailed it to Charlie's computer to see if the garish was gone. It was! Victory dance!!
Mailed it to the judges.
I'm happy with it. If it doesn't win, I'm okay with that too -- I have already seen some uber-fabulous entries by other illustrators. May the best Heidi win!

My wish list for gifts:
- a little booklight to keep in the car, for sketching
- a better scanner
- art supplies!
- a little more confidence, please

Maybe I've "arrived"

If you're an author you should subscribe to Google Alerts, regular notices which tell you who is talking about your work (and, more importantly, whether it's happy talk).

I subscribe, and that is how I found out about a promotional book catalog quote by a well-connected English teacher which starts out, "Greg Heffley and Ellie McDoodle, move over—".

Maybe I should be annoyed.

Ellie doesn't want to move over.

She wants all the sales she can get, and she doesn't want to be edged out by snotty-nosed newcomers.

But there's plenty of room for lots of good books, and maybe strong competition keeps me on my toes.

I'd definitely rather see lots of great books in the Ellie McDoodle format than lots of copycats -- even if it means fewer sales.

Ellie McDoodle won't move over, but she's okay with sharing the limelight.

I can't speak for Greg Heffley, though.

Ellie McDoodle Typography Fun

I should be writing the next book, because I am on a tight deadline. And that's when my most interesting and amusing ideas come -- when I should be doing something else.
Here's the latest: Ellie McDoodle typography personalities. :)
Note: these are done in Arial; some fonts work better than others

Ö-Ö... Ellie likes

. : c :.

...v

Ö-Ö... Ellie surprised

. : c :.

...o

Ö-Ö... Ellie perturbed

. : c :.

...^

Ö-Ö... Ellie vampire

. : c :.

.(W)

Ö-Ö... Ellie questions

. : c :.

...?

Ö-Ö... Ellie yell

. : c :.

..@

Ö-Ö... Ellie nervous

. : c :.

...=

Ö-Ö... Ellie secret

. : c :.

...X

Ö-Ö... Ellie stoic

. : c :.

(---)

Ö-Ö... Ellie kiss

. : c :.

...*

Ö-Ö... Ellie unsure

. : c :.

...~

Ö-Ö... Ellie happy

. : c :.

...U

Ö-Ö... Ellie determined

. : c :.

.mm

Q-Q... Ellie look

. : c :.

...o

Ö-Ö... Ellie snore

. : c :.

...Z

Ö-Ö... Ellie whisper

. : c :.

...'

Ö-Ö... Ellie joking

. : c :.

...Y

Ö-Ö... Ellie singing

. : c :.

...g

Ö-Ö... Ellie forgot

. : c :.

...j

Ö-Ö... Ellie overbite

. : c :.

..iTi

Ö-Ö... Ellie complaining

. : c :.

...Q

Ö-Ö...Ellie quiet

. : c :.

...e

Ö-Ö...Ellie upset

. : c :.

...A

Ö-Ö... Ellie waiting

. : c :.

...H

Ö-Ö... Ellie whistling

. : c :.

...%

Ö-Ö... Ellie raspberry

. : c :.

...B

Ö-Ö... Ellie afraid

. : c :.

v^v^v

Ö-Ö... Ellie terrified

. : c :.

MMM

Ö-Ö... Ellie McDoodle

. : c :.

..<>

Opinionated me: Knock off the insecurity

Hey, I'm as insecure as the next artist. I used to be far more insecure than anybody I knew.
My sister-in-law said her husband felt guilty for even being born. Move over, brother-in-law: I did too.
And nobody gave me enough reason to feel otherwise until I turned 40. That's pathetic -- The great Scarecrow might have said: I should've thought of it for you. The Tin Man might have rejoined: I should have felt it in my heart.
But apparently, like Dorothy's return home, this is one of those things one must find alone.

It's still a struggle. I still think I sometimes don't deserve good things. (When my kids were little I used to cry at night because things were so good -- my kids were wonderful and healthy, I had a good job... and I was sure it couldn't last. I cried over what might happen. As my kid would say, that's messed up)

The best way to get rid of the insecurity is to do something you love -- and keep doing it, and do it so well that others notice.
Suddenly you have an excuse to still be alive.

I've done it. My Ellie McDoodle books are a modest success. Thank you, Universe and everyone in it, especially my fans, my agent, the wonderful people at Bloomsbury, handsellers at bookstores, and all the writers and illustrators who nudged, pushed, yanked, prodded, bumped me up along the way. And the teachers who didn't write me off as an insecure mess, which surely I was.

So now I am happy.

But now I get these fellow illustrators and kids' book writers bawling in my ear, "We don't get any respect for what we do! The world despises us! We're not real writers!"
Well, speak for yourself.
At this point in the game I'm calling it artificial insecurity.
If someone's not respecting the hard work and education it took to get to the skill level you're at, then
1) they have an axe to grind (a spouse wishing you'd bring in more money, perhaps?)
2) they are jealous, wishing they could do what you do, better than you
or
3) they are ignorant and in need of a whack on the side of the hea-- no, a little education.

So what's your answer to them?
Here are some responses you may use, free of charge.
- I'm sorry honey that my work in this field didn't pay off yet. Disrespecting my work and my goals isn't going to bring you and me closer together and it's not going to help pay the bills faster.
- I deserve a shot at a career that makes me happy. So do you. This is mine. Find yours.
- Children's books teach our next generation. Don't even suggest that's not a worthy and honorable goal.

But please don't tell me and your fellow creatives that this constant insulting of our industry means the crabbers are right. Because they aren't, and I refuse to be brought down by ignorance.
When you walk around with a "Kick Me" sign on your back, people will gladly kick you. They think you want it, so they're just being helpful -- and besides everyone's got a little bit of a sadistic streak aching to come out in socially-acceptable ways.
Just don't extrapolate your personal insecurity onto everyone else in the profession.

My work pays my bills. Nobody gets hurt from what I do. I'm breaking no laws. I'm not inspiring evil, or even bad manners.
Some schools and libraries treat me very well. From reading my books, some kids are inspired to write and draw and read more, and to sketch in nature. Some adults are inspired to find a new career or create something unusual. That's impressive. You can't tell me kids' book writing and illustration is an inferior profession. I just plain don't believe it.

I know you're concerned, now. Just my raising the issue makes you wonder if I am truly at peace with this. Well, I'm developing the ability to reason my way out of insecurity.
For example, to my kid who's weirded out seeing me in my studio in a cami with too wide an armhole and "seeing the whole situation" as she puts it so delicately, I say:
Hey it's your fault. I gave up my body for you. If I'd never had kids I'd still have a nice body, perky and cute. I accept my decision, you should too.

There's no point to insecurity. It doesn't make anyone feel better. So stop it.
Over the rainbow is now, if you let it be.

Opinionated me: Why I'm attending the conference

I just got back from a writer retreat with my critique group. Four days away from family in a city far away. Four days of potentially uninterrupted writing time.

It was a hassle getting ready and coordinating schedules for my family, and of course it doesn't cost the same to live in a Bed & Breakfast as to live at home.
And there's the issue of sharing a room -- Do I snore? Do I snore loudly? Do I snore so loudly as to make me an unpleasant roommate?
And would you tell me if the answer was yes?
I'm always nervous that I'll forget something important at home (last year it was suddenly cold outside. I forgot a sweatshirt).
Plus, with my head in my books, and all my angsty issues that seem to rear their ugly heads in the days before any big event, how much good company can I possibly be?

And -- I was waiting to hear back at any minute from my agent about a novel and an Ellie McDoodle proposal I'd sent her.
The editor was 2 weeks late with novel feedback -- never a good sign.

Two days before the retreat I wasn't even sure what I was going to write about at the retreat. With two projects up in the air, not knowing which was a priority (if either), and a third very vague idea of three sisters and some dark stuff, I didn't know how I was going to make my time at the retreat worth the cost of attending.

Weird thing, it worked out, as things usually do. My husband called the first night with agent news: They're using the Ellie 4 proposal to fulfill a contract's second half-- no more sleepless nights.
I wrote a good first chapter to the novel. (This is I think the 7th try).
I have a future.

So why go to the fall SCBWI-Michigan conference in October? I can't sell Ellie McDoodles to the editors there. I don't need a new agent. What's the point, then?

It's this: The mix of inspiration and information you get from being immersed in the craft with other writers stays with you for months afterward and it often regenerates into motivation.
For me, it *always* does.
I have never left a conference thinking I knew all there was to be known.
Never left without seeing and hearing something new.
Sometimes when I leave the conference I'm in disrepair, broken down, dismayed that I wasn't "discovered."
And then I realize, it's up to me to make the discovery.
I can follow up on tips heard at the conference. I can check out the URLs and the books and software and concepts mentioned.

The conference doesn't exist to pair me up with an editor and marry me off to an agent.
The conference exists to expand my brain -- and it does that every single time. Even if I already knew the speakers, memorized their presentations and had read every book they edited, I still could get something out of the questions my fellow writers and illustrators asked.

There's a dynamic component in the conference that you won't get from reading articles online.

As long as I am able, I will attend writer conferences and retreats -- even if it's expensive, even if it's inconvenient, even if I feel dark and scared and uncreative.
For inspiring and moving me off center, writer events are batting a thousand. I have no reason to think this upcoming Michigan SCBWI Fall Conference won't do the same.
And -- bonus!!! -- I get to see dear friends at the same time.
How much better can life get?

Copy & Paste the logo, then stay up late reading!

At a time when libraries are more needed than ever, the New York Public Libraries are in trouble with heavy cuts scheduled. Check out my pall Debbie Diesen's post here to find out more about it.
I'll be at the Kids Read Comics convention in Dearborn on Saturday and Sunday, but I'll be reading late Saturday. I hope you will too!

Kids Read Comics! A free comic event - Dearborn MI

Read all about it! Kids Read Comics, you should too!

I'll be appearing at this event all weekend. Bring kids of all ages. Everything's free.
Register at the website for certain events, others don't require advance registration.

Guests who will be attending the Kids Read Comics Convention include:

• Arvell Jones, artist of Iron Fist and All-Star Squadron
• Dwayne McDuffie, Story editor on Ben 10: Ultimate Alien, writer/creator of Static Shock, writer/producer for the Justice League Unlimited animated series
• Jef Mallett, writer/artist of the syndicated comic strip Frazz – SUNDAY ONLY: SEE PROGRAMMING PAGE
• Roger Langridge, writer/artist of The Muppet Show Comic Book
• Marc Sumerak, writer of Marvel Adventures: Spider-Man
• Raina Telgemeier, artist of The Baby-sitters Club and creator of Smile
• Dave Roman, creator of Astronaut Elementary and Jax Epoch and the Quicken Forbidden
• John Green, artist of Jax Epoch and the Quicken Forbidden
• David Petersen, creator of Mouseguard – SATURDAY ONLY
• Wolfman Mac, host of Wolfman Mac’s Chiller Drive-In
• Chris Houghton, creator of Reed Gunther
• Jim Ottaviani, writer of GT Labs’ T-Minus
  
• Katie Cook, artist of Star Wars comics and sketch cards
• Ryan Estrada, creator of Aki Alliance and Chillin’ Like Villains
• Dan Mishkin, writer/co-creator of Blue Devil and Amethyst, Princess of Gemworld
• William Messner-Loebs, writer of The Flash, Thor, and Wonder Woman
• Thom Zahler, creator of Love and Capes
• Paul Storrie, writer of Gotham Girls comic for DC Comics
• Rob M. Worley, creator of Scratch9 and author of Heir to Fire
• Corey Barba, creator of Yam
• Matt Feazell, creator of The Amazing Cynicalman
  
• Joe Foo, creator of Desmond’s Comic
• Mark Mariano, writer/artist of Flabbergast
• Tara Tallan, writer/artist of the Galaxion webcomic
• Jwan Jordan, writer/artist of The Circular World
• Sara Turner, writer/artist of File 49 and The Boys of the Den
  
• Krishna Sadasivam, writer/artist of PC Weenies and Uncubed
• Kevin Cross, writer/artist of Monkey Mod and co-host of the Big Illustration Party Time podcast
• Mark Rudolph, creator of CV Comics and co-host of the Art & Story comics podcast.
• Brandon Dayton, creator of Green Monk
• Diana Nock, creator of The Intrepid Girlbot and Imaginary Friends Forever
• Michelangelo Cicerone, creator of Ozone Jones
• Marion Vitus, writer/artist of No In-Between and How I Learned to Say No
• Mike Bocianowski, writer/artist of Yets! - SATURDAY ONLY
• The Ann Arbor Comic Artists’ Forum
• Brian Germain, creator of Dark Elf Designs
• Mike Roll, illustrator of The Trains of Christmas
• Matt Dye, creator of Nathan and the Land of Robots
• Erik Hodson, creator of Melby Comics
• Michael Schwartz, creator of Oceanverse
• Shawn Amberger, illustrator and cartoonist
• Jim Mackey, creator of Jackpot Bear
• Brett R. Pinson, creator of Boomtown Press
• Randy Zimmerman, creator of Flint Comix
• Stephanie Mannheim, creator of Nate the Non-Conformist
• Lauren Houser, creator of The Innocent
• Jerzy Drozd, writer/artist of The Front , and co-host of the Art & Story comics podcast
• and me -
• Ruth Barshaw, writer/artist of the Ellie McDoodle books

It's a surprisingly wide reach in programming.
Librarians, comic artists and writers, animators, authors, people who collect, people who create, people who make costumes, people who teach... There's really something for everyone happening.

Join us!!